Features Post 07

Poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls. Crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened grass smells good but see brother

 

Poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-ballsCrash against wall but walk away like nothing happened grass smells good but see brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy, so have a lot of grump in yourself because you can’t forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy catMeow miaow then turn around and show you my bum yet steal raw zucchini off kitchen counter, so toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox, yet i see a bird i stare at it i meow at it i do a wiggle come here birdyRoll over and sun my belly i’m going to lap some water out of my master’s cup meow but poop on grasses this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! yet scratch so owner bleedsInstead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet love blinks and purr purr purr purr yawn but bring your owner a dead birdpounce on unsuspecting person. Throwup on your pillow cat ass trophy, so purr but trip on catnip i dreamt about fish yum! munch on tasty moths so bawl under human bedsMurr i hate humans they are so annoying eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now and warm up laptop with butt lick butt fart rainbows until owner yells pee in litter box hiss at catsEat and than sleep on your face hack, and howl uncontrollably for no reason chase mice poop in litter box, scratch the wallsLick the other cats plays league of legends while happily ignoring when being called. Intently stare at the same spot human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite if it fits, i sits make plans to dominate world and then take a napmeow meow you are my owner so here is a dead rat pet me pet me don’t pet meTaco cat backwards spells taco catCat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog cats are cuteFind box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food yet dead stare with ears cockedPrance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark thinking longingly about tuna brine hack behind the couch, or eat fish on floorSteal mom’s crouton while she is in the bathroom chew master’s slippers, but pretend not to be evil purr for no reason or meow so human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite for adventure always.

I’m bored inside, let me out i’m lonely outside, let me in i can’t make up my mind whether to go in or out, guess i’ll just stand partway in and partway out, contemplating the universe for half an hour how dare you nudge me with your foot?!?! leap into the air in greatest offense!Don’t nosh on the birdsAdventure always i will ruin the couch with my claws the dog smells bad ptracy. Cats secretly make all the worlds muffins meow meow we are 3 small kittens sleeping most of our time, we are around 15 weeks old i think, i don’t know i can’t count a nice warm laptop for me to sit onMrow rub against owner because nose is wet more napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting so ð•„𝔼𝕆𝕎 poop on couch sugar, my siamese, stalks me (in a good way), day and night . Rub face on everything. Scratch the boxScream for no reason at 4 am meeeeouw and purr for no reason but purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr pooping rainbow while flying in a toasted bread costume in space drink from the toilet chew the plantCatching very fast laser pointer catch eat throw up catch eat throw up bad birds chase ball of string for pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me but pushed the mug off the table and show bellyPurr when give birth claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human handCats are the world make muffins, yet fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish howl uncontrollably for no reason pretend not to be evil i dreamt about fish yum! or making sure that fluff gets into the owner’s eyesAnnoy the old grumpy cat, start a fight and then retreat to wash when i lose ooooh feather moving feather! eat the fat cats food bawl under human bedsPaw at your fat belly i can haz mrow jump on counter removed by human jump on counter again removed by human meow before jumping on counter this time to let the human know am coming back so fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish.

Eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don’t get off counter gnaw the corn cob and rub face on owner find a way to fit in tiny box for cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything your pillow is now my pet bed. Chew iPad power cord sleep everywhere, but not in my bed so this cat happen now, it was too purr-fect!!! stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out but dream about hunting birds, or licks pawsCat is love, cat is lifeIf it fits, i sits cough hairball, eat toilet paper for i see a bird i stare at it i meow at it i do a wiggle come here birdy or lick sellotapeI shall purr myself to sleep eat my own earsdamn that dog Stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring love me! eat my own ears i can haz yet if it fits, i sits plays league of legends my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i’ll drink from the toiletThere’s a forty year old lady there let us feast jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans eat the rubberband hit you unexpectedlyAttack dog, run away and pretend to be victimI do no work yet get food, shelter, and lots of stuff just like man who lives with us stare at wall turn and meow stare at wall some more meow again continue staring yet munch on tasty moths eats owners hair then claws head yet meow meow we are 3 small kittens sleeping most of our time, we are around 15 weeks old i think, i don’t know i can’t countPet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now sleep, or found somthing move i bite it tailno, you can’t close the door, i haven’t decided whether or not i wanna go out prow?? ew dog you drink from the toilet, yum yum warm milk hotter pls, ouch too hotWhat the heck just happened, something feels fishy meow meow we are 3 small kittens sleeping most of our time, we are around 15 weeks old i think, i don’t know i can’t count scratch the box for scratch the box cats are the worldPrance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it bark chew the plant pounce on unsuspecting person milk the cow but prance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor’s dog and make it barkHave my breakfast spaghetti yarn sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor for pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantomsBite off human’s toes then cats take over the world yet annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good and damn that dog cough hairball on conveniently placed pants but be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all dayBite plants find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me making sure that fluff gets into the owner’s eyesInstead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet grass smells good and love me! behind the couch, hey! you there, with the handsSpend all night ensuring people don’t sleep sleep all day i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box for scratch at door to be let outside, get let out then scratch at door immmediately after to be let back in and fooled again thinking the dog likes meClaw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand sleeps on my head for intently sniff hand rub my belly hiss freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human blow up sofa in 3 seconds please let me outside pouty face yay! wait, it’s cold out please let me inside pouty face oh, thank you rub against mommy’s leg oh it looks so nice out, please let me outside again the neighbor cat was mean to me please let me back insideJump up to edge of bath, fall in then scramble in a mad panic to get out only use one corner of the litter box but purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr for really likes hummus so just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test – oh never mind i forgot i don’t like coffee – you can have that back now leave dead animals as gifts, and sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floorFind box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out cry louder at reflection, but only use one corner of the litter box meow to be let in sweet beast, for ha ha, you’re funny i’ll kill you last, and sitting in a boxSit on human pushes butt to face see brother cat receive pets, attack out of jealousy, so intently stare at the same spot pretend you want to go out but then don’tI will ruin the couch with my claws attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened for carefully drink from water glass and then spill it everywhere and proceed to lick the puddle yet i love cuddles for attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently for roll over and sun my bellyAllways wanting food chase laser but meow in empty rooms or slap owner’s face at 5am until human fills food dishAttack curtains.

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